It was hard to describe it really. But for so long it felt like I was missing. I would wake up turning after another dream where we met. I would lay there for a while thinking about everything I did wrong.
The shirt you gave me went untouched in the closet but never to be thrown away. My favorite diaries about us dusted on the shelf. And the picture that aged with time began to fade just as we had over the years.
There were still foods that made me think of you because you were the one to make me try.
Your name stopped being mentioned in conversation. People stopped wondered about where you were or what you were doing. Everyone except me. And every birthday I would question texting and calling but I was afraid to discover you hadn’t missed me at all.
I still thought about you and I felt empty when those thoughts took up too much time. But the truth was you took a piece of me with you when you left.
What you did not know was I still prayed for you, I ask if you would come back.
One year and I still looked at my reflection seeing you there. Seeing parts of me that you made into the person I was because of the love you gave me, the things you taught me and the person you meant to me. The truth was I was myself and someone I was becoming proud to be but the truth was so much of who I became was because of you.
When someone is in your heart, he is never truly gone. He can come back to you, even at unlikely times. :)))
And, one day it happened. Your name was appeared on my phone like I had always wanted to be. Caught somewhere between excitement, fear, and disbelief I knew you were back. Small talk turned into plans. Which turned into me doing fewer double takes in the mirror before I am seeing you in the morning. A million questions ran through my mind but for some reason, the answers did not matter. The only thing that mattered was we were back.
And at bukit tabur, I looked around crowded people then I looked at you. I felt whole for the first time in while like something in my life was not missing anymore. And you grabbed my hand and pulled me in because finally, I had gotten the only thing I continued to wish for, for a year and my heart to be whole again.
Because you were more than just someone I had loved back then you taught me that love does not fade with the passing of time. You taught me love is strong enough to overcome time, and heartbreak. You gave me something to believe in, a blind faith I wondered existed. But somehow despite the doubt and the questions I never gave up. While many could not understand and there were moments I could not either I never stopped believing you would find your way back to me.
I look at you now and people say I am happier. The truth is I am the happiest best version of myself when you’re standing beside me.
願你，永遠都不缺，從頭再來的勇氣.
X.
The shirt you gave me went untouched in the closet but never to be thrown away. My favorite diaries about us dusted on the shelf. And the picture that aged with time began to fade just as we had over the years.
There were still foods that made me think of you because you were the one to make me try.
Your name stopped being mentioned in conversation. People stopped wondered about where you were or what you were doing. Everyone except me. And every birthday I would question texting and calling but I was afraid to discover you hadn’t missed me at all.
I still thought about you and I felt empty when those thoughts took up too much time. But the truth was you took a piece of me with you when you left.
What you did not know was I still prayed for you, I ask if you would come back.
One year and I still looked at my reflection seeing you there. Seeing parts of me that you made into the person I was because of the love you gave me, the things you taught me and the person you meant to me. The truth was I was myself and someone I was becoming proud to be but the truth was so much of who I became was because of you.
When someone is in your heart, he is never truly gone. He can come back to you, even at unlikely times. :)))
And, one day it happened. Your name was appeared on my phone like I had always wanted to be. Caught somewhere between excitement, fear, and disbelief I knew you were back. Small talk turned into plans. Which turned into me doing fewer double takes in the mirror before I am seeing you in the morning. A million questions ran through my mind but for some reason, the answers did not matter. The only thing that mattered was we were back.
And at bukit tabur, I looked around crowded people then I looked at you. I felt whole for the first time in while like something in my life was not missing anymore. And you grabbed my hand and pulled me in because finally, I had gotten the only thing I continued to wish for, for a year and my heart to be whole again.
Because you were more than just someone I had loved back then you taught me that love does not fade with the passing of time. You taught me love is strong enough to overcome time, and heartbreak. You gave me something to believe in, a blind faith I wondered existed. But somehow despite the doubt and the questions I never gave up. While many could not understand and there were moments I could not either I never stopped believing you would find your way back to me.
I look at you now and people say I am happier. The truth is I am the happiest best version of myself when you’re standing beside me.
願你，永遠都不缺，從頭再來的勇氣.
X.
